The dating life of a Silver Fox

[attach]3231[/attach]There are no good men out there.

It’s a mantra one hears all the time in the dating world. It’s often used by women to describe a dating pool they see as less than promising, especially among 50+ women.

But Elaine Mitchell wants to change that. The Forest Hill writer has just released a new book called Silver Fox: A Dating Guide for Women over 50.

“Over and over again, many, many women in their 50s have said ‘Oh, I’d love to have a man, but there aren’t any good ones out there, or they’re all gay, or they’re all married, or they all want 23-year-olds, blah, blah. And it wasn’t my experience as a single woman at all,” Mitchell says.

The 66-year-old says despite the fact she “isn’t gorgeous, or brilliantly talented or rich,” she’s had a vibrant dating life since divorcing 20 years ago. Inspired to help guide women in her writing workshops who didn’t feel that was possible, Mitchell decided to write the book.

“I just thought, ‘No, I don’t want you to think that way.’ It’s wrong that women are blocking themselves before they even try and go after what they really want,” she says.

Although Mitchell acknowledges there aren’t as many men in the dating pool for a 50+ woman, she says there are enough. She points out that free of the constraints some younger women feel when they date, older women might be open to a wider range of experiences.

“When you’re younger a lot of people feel they have to get married to have a certain credibility in the world. You don’t need that anymore,” Mitchell says.

She notes 50+ women might be open for the first time in their lives to dating men of other races or age groups. And without feeling like they need to find financial security or status in a man, women can focus on simply connecting with men as people.

“You need (someone) for intimacy, the buzz of the energy between you, for companionship, for deep friendship,” Mitchell says. “There are needs, but they’re not about what other people think.”

Through its emphasis on journaling – creating self-awareness through writing – the book aims to help women achieve personal growth and become ‘silver foxes,’ confident women who have come into their own and know what they have to offer. Mitchell says it’s also about finding out what you really want, whether that means marriage or meeting up with someone a few hours a week.

So far, the author says the response to the book has been positive and she’s even aiming to organize a casual meet-up for 50+ singles to interact through facilitated journaling this coming Spring.

In her own dating life, she’s happy with her partner David, a successful set-up staged by her son, incoming St. Paul’s councillor, Josh Matlow.

“Josh went up to him at some political celebration and asked him ‘are you single?’ David apparently did a double take and Josh said, ‘No, not for me, for my mom!” Mitchell laughs.

The book is available on [url=http://www.amazon.ca]amazon[/url] or on her [url=http://www.silverfoxthebook.com]website.[/url]