Shopping for deals with the angels

Shopping in a church?

Hallelujah.

Spiritual salvation or not, thrifty shoppers should know this important fact: church rummage sales are sprouting up faster than dandelions.

Like those weeds, church sales last for a limited time. Once the yard sales begin and the dandelions die, they’re over.

So when my Riverdale garage sale bud Matthew called me to tell me the Eastminster United Church on the Danforth was kicking off the rummage sale season, the grungy glam pot in me couldn’t be denied.

Saturday morning at 9:45 I meet Matthew and his cronies on the church steps. The sale starts at 10. Already, 15-20 people have gathered in line by the doors.

I troll the outside tables and pick up a pink “Diva” plaque for $2. My editors have it in their heads this epithet applies to me.

Where in Heaven’s name did they get that idea?

I make it back to the steps just in time for the doors to open.

After that, it gets a bit fuzzy.

It’s overwhelming walking into a room full of tables with everything imaginable on them: where to go first?
If in doubt, hotfoot it to the most crowded spot. In this case it’s the jewellery table.

The scene isn’t entirely pretty. The prices are otherworldly, with most pieces under $5. People are grabbing jewellery trays and baubles with lightening speed. I can’t even get to the table the crowd is so dense.

I have long arms and fingers, a major plus as I’m able to slide them between spaces and slowly retract interesting bits and bobs.

The crowds are going nuts for the beaded necklaces, $2 for one or three for $5. I bag the stuff that’s ignored, like the asymmetrical crystal strung on a sturdy gold chain, $5, that’s pure granny chic.

After the masses thin out, I find two pieces no one has bothered with.

My prizes: two 1970s chains that go past my waist and can be wound thrice around the neck.

One is a silver-toned double chain link strand with crystal clear beads and gold detailing.

It’s so chic I can’t stand it. Price: $3.

The other, a gold and silver chain with swirly-shaped links, is $2.

For $15, I walk away with six pieces.

Riding high on my jewellery triumph, my church sale karma kicks in and I find a mini wood table/breakfast tray. It’s something I’ve been searching for after seeing something like it in a thrift shop window.

I ask a man and it’s $3.

I say a little prayer of thanks.

There’s clothing, trinkets and some furniture, all at good prices. I find a darling mini picture for $2 and a Swiss neck scarf for a buck.

Speaking of scarves, the scarf fiend in me goes crazy for a framed poster propped against a wall that reads, “A Scarf is Born.”

It’s a poster for a 1989 Hermes exhibit in London about the art of making an Hermes scarf.

Alas, the likelihood of my owning a real Hermes scarf is as slim as I was in 1989, so I snatch the pic for $5.

On my way out I bump into friend Ron McKay, a Riverdale artist and member of the church. He’s wearing a black tee he’s created. It has an image of the angel from the stained glass windows printed on the front.

The tees are $2. I regret not buying one.

Final word on church sales? Eke out the special items, and do unto your fellow rummager as you would have done unto you.

I spend $30 and walk away happy as a clam. I meet Matthew and chums on the patio of the Second Cup after, where I bond with other jewellery table nuts like me.

Comparing finds, my 1970s chains are much coveted. We declare ourselves the Garage Sale Club, and vow to stay in touch for the next big sale.

If you’re not sure how to find sales, call your local churches, or check out the event listings in your fave community rag.

The next sale I have my eye on is May 24 at the Bethany Baptist Church at Pape and Cosburn.
Amen.

The Eastminster United Church, 310 Danforth Ave., 416-463-2179 www.eastminsteruc.org.