A new, beautiful view of the world
[attach]428[/attach]Agoraphobia is a crippling disorder, one that creates a reclusive, harrowing environment for the sufferer.
Once friendly public spaces become war-like zones, while the person’s home acts as a prison — where they feel the most safe — yet are paralyzed from leaving.
Mark Siddall knows all about it.
Back in the 1990s, he spent 10 painful years as an agoraphobic, quitting his job as a hairstylist and ultimately losing contact from much of the outside world as he sought refuge in his house.
On his pathway to healing, the Don Mills resident found photography.
The creative medium saved him, bringing him back into the world.
“I was always an artist … photography was always something I wanted to do,” says a soft-spoken Siddall from his photography studio on Wynford Dr.
“With agoraphobia I wasn’t able to leave my home … I couldn’t go out.”
So he taught himself photography, and snapped images of everything from home fixtures to friends and family who would visit him.
Soon, through encouragement of those close to him, Siddall forced himself to take a photography trip to the states, further photographing interesting people and places, and ultimately aiding in his recovery.
“Photography allowed me to go out and do things … it allowed me to explore and share with other people,” says Siddall, whose life post-photography is very different and much happier than before he picked up a camera.
Running his own fine art gallery and photography studio has not only beefed up his artistic life, but his social exploration too.
His recent exhibit Men is a prime example.
The intimate June 10–July 4 exhibit featured nude black and white plus colour images of muscular frames and sensuous bodies.
While sexiness was commonplace, so too was Siddall’s sensitive, yet professional eye in portraying men.
“I hoped the exhibit showed that it’s not all that terrible to take your clothes off … it’s not pornography.”
His upcoming show ’Scapes, which runs at his gallery July 15–Aug. 8 features never before seen waterscapes, cityscapes, and even trainscapes Siddall has photographed over the years.
Siddall, who worked as a hairstylist for 25 years, says the transition from hard bodies to idyllic landscapes is deliberate, as it shows a range in the 40-something-year-old digital photographer’s work.
“(’Scapes) are the backdrops to our lives, after all,” Siddall says a few weeks before the summer show opens. “At any given time, we are either visiting, living, exploring or dreaming of one.
“As an artist, who is also a painter, I have found myself often in the midst of a scene, seeking to recreate with my paintbrush the forest, river, country field … that had caught my eye,” he adds. “And it is during these artistic endeavours, when the photographer side of me goes out exploring, that the scene ceases to be simply a landscape for me.”
Creative or not, the horrors of agoraphobia aren’t entirely gone.
Siddall can be awfully shy at times. Similarly, some days are harder than others.
Still his new profession has helped him more than he could have ever imagined.
While photography for some might be worth a thousand words, for a very grateful Siddall, it gave him his life back.