How do you get them to bed?

[attach]4454[/attach]At night, 7-year-old Ashton Seebaran’s favourite way to avoid his 8:30 bedtime is to inform his mother that it’s still light outside.

His mother, Lisa Seebaran, calmly reminds him that he needs his sleep because he has school in the morning. Another hour passes by before she checks in on Ashton. She isn’t all too surprised to find him wide awake, eyes drifting to the darkness behind the window of their North York home.

Ashton asserts this time it’s simply not dark enough to go to bed.

“It’s like this sometimes,” says Seebaran. “He connects sleep with darkness so if it’s not entirely dark and there’s still some light outside, he’ll be reluctant to go to bed.”

So what’s a working mother to do?

Like many parents, Seebaran finds that sticking to a nightly routine helps put her son to bed.

“Our routine is brush teeth, lay down, read, sip of water (and then go to bed),” says Seebaran. “Sometimes he’ll have his back rubbed because it calms him and then it’s sleeptime.”

[attach]4455[/attach]But if she still can’t get her son to sleep, Seebaran says she’ll try and reason with him explaining that he needs his sleep to take on the next day.

“You don’t want a frustrated, tired child because that feeling projects itself onto you and just makes you frustrated.”

But, Seebaran knows that summer changes things. When school’s no longer in session, she finds that Ashton’s methods of deflection become more valid and more mischievous.

“His reasoning suddenly becomes, ‘I can stay up, I don’t have to get up for school tomorrow,’” she says.

With school no longer an incentive to rest early at night, Seebaran acknowledges that changes in the routine are unavoidable.

Child and family therapist, Joanna Seidel says sleep patterns can be a little more flexible during the summer.

“Parents should develop a routine during the summer,” she says. “Maybe it means bedtime a little later and quiet mornings, where everyone sleeps in.”

However, drastic changes to a child’s nighttime behaviour can create more problems, especially when a child must return to school.

“Children shouldn’t be experiencing a totally opposite change in their schedule,” says Seidel. “It’s very important to keep some of the foundation of their sleep habits in tact during the summer so they don’t have more difficulty falling asleep at an appropriate time when the school year starts.”

In the Seebaran household, Ashton’s summer bedtime is one hour later than usual.

“Aside from his bedtime, other aspects of his routine remain the same,” she says. “We still read stories to him. Reading also helps him keep up with his academic levels, since he’s not studying during the summer.”

With Ashton enrolled in various summer camps, Seebaran doesn’t worry about him not receiving enough activity during the day to help him fall asleep. Rather, she’s more concerned about Ashton going back to his old bedtime when September drops by.

“I try to make sure he’s back on his old schedule one week before school starts,” Seebaran says, “That way he gets reacquainted with how things were.”

Seebaran also tries to keep nighttime distractions, such as television and computers, away from his room. Seidel says that while this strategy might be helpful for some parents, it doesn’t apply to all families.

“It depends on the level of trust between the parent and the child,” Seidel says. “Every parent-child relationship is different. You can’t always compare the relationship you have with your child to what your friend has with theirs.”

Like Seebaran, Seidel feels that setting up a routine for your child is an ideal way to create healthy sleep habits.

“Children need a sense of stability, so it’s important to have a routine,” Seidel says. “But in order to create a good routine, a parent has to talk to their child and find out what works best for him or her. Maybe a 10-year-old listens to some music before bed or has a favourite book. Ask them, ‘Do you want me to read to you?’ or ‘Do you want a small snack before bed?’”

“Parents are required to do a lot of decision making but sometimes it helps to give children some control,” she added.

While on the subject of parental decisions, Seidel also likes to remind parents to pay attention to sleep cues.

“Be aware of what times your child is tired, especially at nighttime.” she says, “If your family decides to go out one night and your child starts to yawn, it’s usually an indicator that your child needs to go to bed.

“If that means leaving a get together or a party early, just to have your kid in bed, then that’s what a parent needs to do.”